REWIND...Part 1

So I probably should have posted how this all began before my last blog. But everything happens for a reason. It was on my heart this morning to share what happened to me on Thursday. I am going to attempt to rewind and share more of my experience with you.

My History

I am new to God (Read My Description). Since the age of ten, my weekend routine has been: Party Friday night and Saturday night, have fun doing whatever, and on Sunday get up and go to church! Most of the time I was in church all day. Church was suppose to start at 10am or was it 10:30 am...anyway it never really started until 11am. So that was when I would go...at 11am. No matter how much I drank or screamed the prior night, I was in church. Now many of you can say that your grandmother told you, "If you can stay out all night long, partying you can get your but up and go to church." For me, I was the leader of the pack. It wasn't until I took the brave step to join church that my mom and grand mom followed suit. Eventually, my grandmother and mom could utter that phrase to me.lol

As I grew up I had began to sing more and more. My and a couple of the guys at church sang in a Scholarship Choir founded by Albertina Walker (Queen of Gospel). That was my first time meeting a celeb. It was fun, maybe too fun. It didn't last long though, the more members we added the harder it was to keep us under control. I never will forget the evening I met one of the best alto singers in the world to me. Of course I was like 12 or 13 so what did I know. She came to rehearsal one evening with members from her church or singing group. I guess they were came to help us out. I won't lie we was kinda offended....then when she opened her mouth I was like WOW!!! She sang "Thank You" and her name was Faith Edwards.

The song went like this:

Tragedies are a common place, all kinds of diseases people are slipping away.

The economies down people cant get enough pay, as for me..all I can say is

Thank you lord for all you've done for me!

She could sing the heck outta that song. And to show you how God works, she sings with the praise team at the church I go to now, and every now again the pastor passes her the mic. I was amazed to see her...she probably wouldn't recognize me, but Faith Edwards...hot darn.lol

Anyway, I spent years singing in the choirs at church and going to church outings. Back then it was fun to go to other churches. We would go sing our hardest and "shut it down". That was our goal back then. It's a shame, but that's real talk. We wanted to blow everyone out, even our own choirs. We claimed the spirit was just on us. We did all the rocks, new claps, hooping and hollering...and had fun. The choir brought us all together, like a family. Every once and a while someone would catch the spirit. The older I got I began to feel like the spirit wasn't in the church unless people were shouting, screaming, dancing or running. I use to grab the mic and walk the aisles practically begging people to worship. It was like something in my head would say, grab the mic.lol

That's why I say I was never too far from God. As years passed college was over, my life had changed, I was becoming comfortable in my own skin. After a relationship went soar and everything else in my life began to cave in, I left the church and God. I never cursed him, but I felt like he was ignoring me. I felt like he turned his back on me. All the things I was going through at the time...I kept telling myself, if god would just do this! I knew that all God had to do was change the outcome of things and would be okay. But those thoughts quickly became dreams. Life was real...I was losing it all...I was depressed and had no one or nothing.

See I'm one of those people that keeps everything inside. I deal with things alone and I am quick to figure it out and move on. I guess that's the only child syndrome. But I wasn't spoiled like people thought. I didn't ask my mom or grand parents for anything. I always worked it out.

2009 was cool, but I told myself that I needed to go back to church. I had gotten lazy and I knew better. I wanted to pay tithes again and go somewhere I could be comfortable at and really get to know God. See I know the power in paying tithes...i was incredibly blessed at one time and I attributed to my faithfulness in paying tithes. As usual I write a list of things I want to accomplish in the next year. I type them out at the beginning of each year and I post it somewhere that I am forced to look at them all the time. From past experiences it seems like the method to my madness worked. By the end of a year would have completed several things on my list. Number one in 2010 was getting back in church and God. Number 2 was to pay tithes faithfully.

Now in 2010 I have accomplished both...I'm still working to finish out the year strong, but I have no doubts I will.

"The Chase"
- Nikki B. -